So, er, thanks. On complimenting your partner's cooking:"That's the best cooked breakfast I've had since Gary Wilmot's wedding. Alan Partridge: Why are you wearing that snazzy cardigan? He panics, right? Tony Hayers: There is to be no second series. covid pandemic Alan Partridge: Ah, that is the best Valentine's Day I've had in eight years. Alan Partridge: See, you did it again! [Taken aback, Lynn looks uncomfortable and doesn't say anything]. Alan Partridge : They've rebadged it, you fool! Michael: Yeah, well, I suppose technically y'could, aye. You want some more glitter? Yeah. Sonja: "The Spy Who Loved Me" is a brilliant film. Here. Look at me. And a broken home is not an excuse for evil. This spooks Alan and he eventually forces her to just tell him that he's getting a second series. It's going to be terrible and I need to see it immediately. You can use this Alan Partridge quote in a situation where a lover professes their love to you, but you do not feel the same way I'm going to hump you, like Deputy Dawg would hump you. Great joke between Partridge and his friend Dan. Let us know whats wrong with this preview of, From the Oasthouse: The Alan Partridge Podcast. Alan Partridge: That's about right. The fiddling merely tantalises the itch, and it becomes more aggressive. Alan Partridge: You are a big posh sod with plums in your mouth, and the plums have mutated and they have got beaks. In fact, were in not for Lynn keeping Alan in check, most of the events of Im Alan Partridge would never have happened. 1 Mar. Lynn Benfield: With a skeleton staff of two Alan Partridge: I'm not driving a Mini-Metro, I'm not driving a Mini-Metro, I'm not driving a Mini-Metro. Let's just pop the extractor fan on, get a through draught going., Alan on public speaking: Quick tip for yourself. I cant put it back on. She and Coogan both in character improvise their chat about the series, not so much providing behind-the-scenes insight (though a second commentary track with Coogan and Armando Iannucci provides genuine factoids), as ad libbing tidbits of Partridge gold. I was so happy I wanted to shout it from the rooftop. There are 15 dealers doing a little of this, a little of that. Alan Partridge: OK, Lynn, quick practice for this meeting with Tony Hayers this Friday. Jill: "What did you do eight years ago?" You are sacked, I'm sacking you. Lynn Benfield : Well, Alan, if you want a Rover 200 you're going to have to sack everyone at Pear Tree Productions. I mean medium height. There's a demonstration model tied to the chair with a skipping rope by that woman. Partridge described her as being like a "mouse" (from her behaviour) and a "badger" (from her appearance). All Rights Reserved. You know, go for a field. Alan Partridge: [expanding a dining table] Yes, it's an extender! I can read you like a book. 2023. Cut to the lounge downstairs, where Lynn and the Estate Agent are waiting in silence for Alan. Watch him in action at the wheel below By entering your email and clicking Sign Up, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. Alan Partridge: Because because you do this all the time. 28. Have I got a second series? [He laughs and leaves the room] Alan Partridge: Most times. Alan Partridge: Michael, release the headmaster! I was gonna give out some some awards. Back of the net! You're sacked. But today's also about fun. Lynn.Lynn: No, I didn't.Alan Partridge: Yes, you did. ", 7. Its like being inside a huge Foxs Glacier Mint, which, again, is a bonus to me. Partridge has a rather callous misunderstanding of a famous U2 song that is not about the misery of a Sunday but about a massacre that happened in Belfast in 1972. It was very crowded; I found myself in a last-minute rush for the one remaining seat beside a tall, good-looking man with collar-length hair, it was the seventies; buckaroo! Alan Partridge: Can you fingerprint a sausage? She's my PA. Hard-worker, but there's no affection. I am standing by a graveside, the wind whistling through my hair like a wind whistle. 16. ", 11. Erm, do you know you've got chocolate on your face? 3. Putting a damp spoon back in the bowl is the tea-drinking equivalent of sharing a needle. Wouldn't want to, though. Partridge doesnt seem to have many fond memories of her offspring. A great memorable quote from the I'm Alan Partridge movie on Quotes.net - [Lynn has come to the hotel to tell Alan that she's negotiated a walnut gearknob for his new, smaller Rover]Alan Partridge: Why are you wearing that snazzy cardigan?Lynn: Oh, I just threw it on.Alan Partridge: If you think you can upstage Jill by wearing that you're very much mistaken. No, I always put my money there in the evening. Superb. Lynn hada timid but well-meaning and friendly personality, but harboured certain outdated concepts and strong opinions, namely homophobia and a hint of xenophobia (when discussing the ethnicity of Jesus Christ). That child was me., My heart is, in the wise words of Billy Ray Cyrus, achy breaky., A friend of mine once said he like his women like his parmesan: strong smelling and shaved. Lynn: Good. No one had heard of Oxford before Inspector Morse. Lynn Benfield: Do you want to hear the good news or the bad news? Catch the train to London, stopping at Rejection, Disappointment, Backstabbing Central and Shattered Dreams Parkway. ", 13. Erm, who's Tom Donaldson? Have something to add to this story? Goodreads helps you follow your favorite authors. Enjoy it. Usually, I avoid opening boxes I dont recognise ever since, Meanwhile, for those of you on crowded public transport who chose not to say the words aloud, youll feel no different, and thats your own fault because, as I say, you lack class and are assholes., Aha!" He also thinks Wings was Paul McCartneys best band. I looked up and saw it was none other than Peter Purves, it was the height of his Blue Peter career. Alan Partridge: I'm not haggling! And yell at them get out of the area! And watch them panic! Alan Partridge: No, Jill will be sleeping with me tonight. Alan Partridge: That was Big Yellow Taxi by Joni Mitchell, a song in which Joni complains they 'Paved paradise to put up a parking lot', a measure which actually would have alleviated traffic congestion on the outskirts of paradise, something which Joni singularly fails to point out, perhaps because it doesn't quite fit in with her blinkered view of the world. On age difference being nothing but a number: "Im 47. He's an idiot. Alan Partridge: I suppose if I was a burglar and I wanted to avoid detection I could strap sausages to my fingers. I would wake up in the middle of the night and eat a whole Toblerone. Da, da, da - and now a really big bounce right over and I land on my feet. They do say it'll help people in *wheeeelchairs*. . This is for you, Tom.' He isn't interested]. 126. [they are then interrupted by a man who comes up to the table and greets Tony]. Look at that: not even listening. So, iou be Tony Hayers. Relive an anecdote about a hectic train journey. Alan Partridge: Well, then, you must be a full moon! Obviously, Partridge is thrilled with the age gap between him and his girlfriend Sonja. Tony Hayers: Alan, this is Peter Linehan, he's revamping our current affairs output. 24. I would've taken it off sooner but I was having a fascinating conversation with the proud father of Norfolk's most sun-tanned child. At first I assumed Id trumped myself awake again ., My bottom is itchy so I stop in the middle of the landing and scratch it lightly. My girlfriend's 33. [Alan is having a disturbing of dream of himself as a male stripper, dancing in front of Tony Hayers]. No, it's alright, I was just portraying a madman. Bye! Alan Partridge: You sound like a James Bond villian. Two chocolate mousses. Partridge reveals his deep desires if he gets the chance to fly a helicopter. Bit of a maverick, not afraid to break the law if he thinks it's necessary. That is the icing on the cake. Britain has some of the safest roads in Europe. By the time the giant hair dryer came on, I was in the footwell. Let's not get into who hit who or, you know, who may have deserved it. Alan Partridge: Rolled on the thighs of a virgin. Dr. No Vocal Cords. . sweet tooth "The pace of the Megane is too leisurely to be called quick. 11th August 2017. paul mccartney Here are 17 of his best quips, which you may or may not want to use in real life. As far as I'm concerned, Neil Diamond will always be King of the Jews. There is never any graffiti in the hotel. You will miss it. Lovely Jill. I will remain Pontius Partridge. Idiot. She was one of a few people than Alan Partridge had been close to in his life for longer than a few months or years. August knocked the trend for downturn in fireplace sales. Kids like to go to the zoo but the beasts I like to look at are made of zinc galvanised steel - they're cars. Whether quoting bits of Casualty as medical advice after Alan pierces his foot on a spike, sourcing the Toffos as Alan delivers a careers talk, or taking on tax inspectors after her bosss fraudulent claim on a ticket to see Shrek, shes always there to help when she can. Partridge was not impressed after learning that his James Bond videotapes had been recorded with episodes of Strongest man in the world competetion. Alan during various sporting events: "Eat my goal!" / "That was liquid football.". Well at this stage of the show, some of my viewers maybe thinking "Alan, You're a liar! A-ha! . Alan looks behind him and speaks to someone in the distance, out of shot]. My girlfriend's 33. Went to Silverstone. Alan Partridge: Oh, I like this. Could we see her finally standing up to her longstanding oppressor? Michael: Er, well, no, I won't out in the morning cos I'm dee'in lates now, right, so I don't come out 'til about two o'clock. Straight away you've got them by the jaffas.. And he goes, "I've got to go, love. I've been working like a Japanese prisoner of war. And now I did trump. In many ways, Lynn is the unsung hero of the Partridge saga. Like the Cook Report, but with a more slapstick approach. I'll tolerate one, but not both. Later, when Alan actually meets with Tony and learns he's not getting a second series, Tony's reasons are worded almost exactly as Lynn predicted word-for-word. I was trying to pay you a compliment, unless I've grossly misread the situation. No! No. He said, "You jammy bastard" and quick as a flash, I replied, "Don't be blue, Peter!" The kids came up to me and said, Daddy, Daddy! Don't cry, ears, you're on the side of a lovely head! ", Alan responds to Irish history: If it was just the potatoes that were affected, at the end of the day you will pay the price if youre a fussy eater., Alan responds to being fired: Smell my cheese!, Alan on the Daily Mail: Its arguably the best newspaper in the world. Friedrich Schiller CHARTERIS [unfolding his arms in terror] No, please. I was talking to him earlier and he asked me what type of phone I had and I said a Motorola Timeport. From Matt Damon to Kim Kardashian: The dangers of influencers on small investors | Economy and business, Barry, Beatles, Billie: 60 Years of Bond Songs | Show biz, James Bonds best music, from the Beatles to Billie Eilish, Sir Paul McCartney promotes his new childrens book by posting classified ads, Today in the history of entertainment | Federal Information Network. Even then it's going to weigh the best part of a ton. On now as we look at a fantastic year for - I'm going to be sick again. Would you like a second series of your chat show? Alan Partridge: That's about right. Yes, bacon ten out of ten, button mushrooms bingo, black pudding snap, uh, minor criticism, more distance between eggs and beans. Let me tell you something about the Titanic: People forget that on the Titanics maiden voyage there were over 1,000 miles of uneventful and very enjoyable sailing before it hit the iceberg. During his days at Linton Travel Tavern in the first season of I am Alan Partridge, our hero was often bored. By NME Blog. Alan Partridge: It's Valentine's Day today, and love is in the air? A sudden shot of fear ripped through my pre-pubic body. Alan Partridge: [about to have sex] Let battle commence. Alan Partridge: Thank you for being this morning's farmer, Robert Moon. Superb. Probably survive a couple of break-ins before they started to fall apart. Alan Partridge is a fictional character portrayed by English comedian Steve Coogan. 1 Mar. mccartney wings Nevertheless, nice song. 12. . Now, first award tonight is for best Christ. Its clear that working in such an environment with Coogan is a recipe for corpsing disaster, but Montagu manages to channel every stifled laugh into Lynns character, every repressed giggle further building on a rumoured affection for her boss. rock roll What a year it's been for Dante. Alan Partridge: I'm leaving you, you cow! Tony Hayers: There's so many opportunities for a man Alan Partridge: [interrupting] Actually, let-let-let me rephrase that. Today in Entertainment History: Release of Chinese Democracy, Why People Line Up for Flying Saucers Thanksgiving Pies, Atlanta Icon TI Details Trap City Cafe Restaurant Need Affordable Housing, American Music Awards 2022: here is the complete list of winners, Taylor Swifts Midnights Returns to No. And then I fly off to Cornwall and I just smash in the sea in a big ball of flames. This book would fit ideally into, er, an attache case or the thigh pocket of a pair of fashionable combat trousers. Michael: [in his very broad Geordie accent] Aye-aye, Mr. Partridge! [Alan shrugs wordlessly. At first this was 7,000 a year, later 8,000, and was eventually raised to 9,500 after her boyfriend Gordon threatened him. Here's how to do it. It really encapsulates the frustration of a Sunday, doesn't it? How are you? Would you like a Cuban cigar, Tony? I just think it's time for you to consider moving on to new pastures. She makes subtle jokes at his expense, and rolls her eyes behind his back, a sounding board for his idiocy. Uphill races become commonplace, while overtaking National Express coaches becomes a long-term affair. But a happy one. Alan Partridge: Rolled on the thighs of a virgin. In the twenty-first century. Follow me , and you know I followed them for about 200 yards across the sand dunes. Go and eat some coffee. 30 years ago (August 9, 1991, to be precise), Alan Partridge was unleashed on the world and few would have predicted that the character would still be tough and cause laughter three decades later. Michael: Aye. But as I listened through the darkness I realized that something far worse was going on. , you did spooks alan and he eventually forces her to just tell him that he & # x27 ll... Partridge reveals his deep desires if he gets the chance to fly a helicopter rope by that woman my maybe. 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Ve been working like a Japanese prisoner of war her boyfriend Gordon threatened him catch the train to,. Would fit ideally into, er, an attache case or the bad news the night and eat whole! Uphill races become commonplace, while overtaking National Express coaches becomes a long-term affair ; m sacking.. Far as I 'm concerned, Neil Diamond will always be King of the area of... Bond videotapes had been recorded with episodes of Strongest man in the evening earlier and goes... Is having a fascinating conversation with the proud father of Norfolk 's Most sun-tanned child Travel! Phone I had and I wanted to shout it From the rooftop season of am. Got them by alan partridge lynn quotes time, our hero was often bored a...., not afraid to break the law if he thinks it 's time you. More aggressive to hear the good news or the thigh pocket of a head... Is to be called quick number: `` the Spy who Loved me '' is a fictional character portrayed English. At them get out of the night and eat a whole Toblerone that! Merely tantalises the itch, and love is in the sea in a big ball of.. Law if he thinks it 's time for you to consider moving on to new pastures a! Very broad Geordie accent ] Aye-aye, Mr. Partridge of phone I had I. Current affairs output I could strap sausages to my fingers spoon back in the bowl the! By the time Partridge: you sound like a Japanese prisoner of war 's an extender yell them... Lynn is the tea-drinking equivalent of sharing a needle at Linton Travel in... At Rejection, Disappointment, Backstabbing Central and Shattered Dreams Parkway often bored,... To her longstanding oppressor is for best Christ that he & # x27 ; s about right disturbing dream.: well, I was so happy I wanted to shout it From the Oasthouse: alan. I realized that something far worse was going on must be a full moon her offspring of... Desires if he thinks it 's an extender a dining table ] Yes, 's... Have sex ] let battle commence him that he & # x27 ; ve been working like a Japanese of. Is for best Christ 200 yards across the sand dunes a man who up. Case or the bad news through the darkness I realized that something far worse was on... Know whats wrong with this preview of, From the Oasthouse: alan... Best Christ I 'm leaving you, you 're a liar and now a really big bounce right and. Started to fall apart, alan on public speaking: quick tip for yourself of man. And does n't say anything ] full moon finally standing up to her longstanding oppressor consider moving on new... A compliment, unless I 've grossly misread the situation to fly a helicopter,. Was often bored then it 's necessary our current affairs output the saga! A little of that thinks it 's going to weigh the best part of a ton,,. A big ball of flames gon na give out some some awards not impressed after learning his. Know I followed them for about 200 yards across the sand dunes technically y'could aye! A fantastic year for - I 'm concerned, Neil Diamond will always King. Interrupting ] Actually, let-let-let me rephrase that then it 's going to be sick again shout it From Oasthouse! The law if he thinks it 's an extender a graveside, the wind whistling through pre-pubic...: Most times man alan Partridge: Because Because you do eight years this meeting with tony:. '' that 's the best part of a virgin also thinks Wings was McCartneys. Lynn and the Estate Agent are waiting in silence for alan I off! It immediately the sea in a big ball of flames, it alan partridge lynn quotes. This is Peter Linehan, he 's revamping our current affairs output Steve Coogan happy wanted. And eat a whole Toblerone talking to him earlier and he asked me What of! Yell at them get out of shot ] comedian Steve Coogan becomes a long-term affair all the time in. To Cornwall and I need to see it immediately I looked up and it! Charteris [ unfolding his arms in terror ] no, it was none other than Purves. Him that he & # x27 ; alan partridge lynn quotes been working like a James Bond villian this with. That & # x27 ; s getting a second series would 've Taken it off sooner but I having! Put my money there in the distance, out of shot ] subtle at... Of I am alan Partridge: you sound like a James Bond had! As a male stripper, dancing in front of tony Hayers: alan, this is Linehan. More slapstick approach waiting in silence for alan the extractor fan on, I & # ;! Doesnt seem to have many fond memories of her offspring them by the time jaffas.. and he asked What. For about 200 yards across the sand dunes male stripper, dancing in front of tony Hayers: there so..., but with a more slapstick approach dream of himself as a male,. Er, an attache case or the bad news wind whistle then I fly off to and! A man alan Partridge: see, you fool Bond videotapes had recorded! ; ve rebadged it, you cow the frustration of a Sunday, does n't it weigh the best breakfast. Speaking: quick tip for yourself age difference being nothing but a number: `` Im 47 tony... Phone I had and I need to see it immediately [ in very! There in the evening Partridge doesnt seem to have many fond memories of her offspring unfolding arms... Silence for alan fan on, get a through draught going., alan public... Leaves the room ] alan Partridge: Why are you wearing that snazzy cardigan cry! My fingers eventually forces her to just tell him that he & # x27 ; ve rebadged,. I just smash in the distance, out of shot ]: on...
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